


moonless

by orphan_account



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 01:31:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The sun had now fully set, a darkness settling across the quiet expanse of the club room, and somehow when Kaoru can’t see the other man it’s easier to force the words out of his throat.“Sakuma-san,” He begins, cursing the slight waver that he’s sure wouldn’t be missed, “are you sure you want to stay with me after graduation?”





	moonless

**Author's Note:**

> hello undeadP community
> 
> an exercise in trying to get to know my boys a little better and tide me over until i can watch destruction road again. undead deserve all the happiness in the world, after all

Sakuma-san was not well.

Though the sun had begun to set past the horizon, for once it was the end of UNDEAD’s practice instead of the beginning. Koga and Adonis had claimed some inescapable class activity later in the night, and so UNDEAD’s unit practice had been hurriedly shifted earlier despite the sun still being up.

And so Kaoru, not checking his phone, had been late - again.

He really was trying lately, but the odd weight of guilt across his shoulders was still unfamiliar. He wasn’t blind, after all - the way Sakuma-san tried to hide his exhaustion when Kaoru finally showed up wasn’t as effective in the mirrored walls of the practice room as the mask he summoned on stage.

Part of trying - _ really _trying, he thinks - is taking responsibility, even if all he wants to do is run away from his problems.

Kaoru cautiously pushes open the Light Music Club door, meeting only an oppressive silence within. Sakuma-san sits sprawled on the floor, back leaning on the side of his coffin as he stared aimlessly at the ceiling.

“Kaoru-kun, hm?” Sakuma-san greets, eyes unmoving.

The apology - excuse - _ whatever _sticks in Kaoru’s throat. He crosses the small room, a slight shake in his right hand he can’t seem to still, and sets himself on the floor beside him.

“Sakuma-san.”

“How kind of you to come keep me company~ it’s so quiet in here, after all, with my dear children so busy.”

Something inside Kaoru reflexively flinches, and he laughs nervously as he leans back.

“It’s not like I want to be comforting a_ man _ or anything, you know?” Kaoru lets another laugh escape, frivolous and airy, “So don’t get too used to it.”

Sakuma-san’s jaw shifts, the dark circles under his eyes highlighted by the last rays of the sun that filter through the curtains.

“If not a man, then a monster?” Sakuma-san blinks, eyes shifting to a point on the wall but never in Kaoru’s direction, “Would you comfort a monster if you saw it suffering - writhing, forced beneath the harsh light of the heavens, unable to sustain itself in the human world it desires?” He raises a hand up, holding it against the dying light, and Kaoru can’t help but notice how long and elegant his fingers are - pianist’s fingers, but so delicate, the skin almost translucently pale, “Would you comfort it then, or abandon it to the terrible mercy of God’s judgment?”

The tension in the air suddenly feels oppressive, like Kaoru can’t breathe deep enough, like he’s on the edge of grasping something but it’s just out of reach. He wishes Sakuma-san would just speak to him plainly, instead of hiding behind a veil of grandiose words.

“Woah, that’s pretty dark.” He laughs again, suddenly struck by a wish to have Sakuma-san glance in his direction, “You know I get rea~lly lost when you start talking about stuff like that.”

The silence stretches, almost uncomfortable.

“Of course, of course, Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru watches the way the long fingers curl in on themselves, forcing the slight exhausted tremble to a halt. He gets up, ignores the questioning hum at his movement, and leans across the half-open coffin to rescue a bottle of tomato juice from the mini-fridge. He drops it in Sakuma-san’s lap as he sits back down, nudging the other’s knee with his own.

“Thank you for taking care of an old man~” Sakuma-san says, and Kaoru doesn’t reply.

_ We’re teenagers, _he wants to say, but he’s not as oblivious as he pretends to be. The world had not been kind to Sakuma Rei of the Five Oddballs - though he hoped it had been kinder to the Sakuma Rei of UNDEAD, in the end.

He sits and waits, silence broken only by the sound of Sakuma-san drinking his offering, finally setting the empty bottle aside with a clatter that sounds too loud to his ears. The sun had now fully set, a darkness settling across the quiet expanse of the club room, and somehow when Kaoru can’t see the other man it’s easier to force the words out of his throat.

“Sakuma-san,” He begins, cursing the slight waver that he’s sure wouldn’t be missed, “are you sure you want to stay with me after graduation?”

_ With someone like me, _ he thinks.

“Oh? Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” 

Kaoru shoots him a look, but he’s not sure if Sakuma-san sees it, still turned slightly away to stare at the darkened walls. 

“Well, duh~ if I can stick around with someone like you, doesn’t that make my life pret-ty easy from now on?” 

_ Aren’t I a burden to you? _

Sakuma-san laughs, the rich sound a little stronger than before, and Kaoru feels some measure of relief.

“I told you before, Kaoru-kun, that I’m a huge fan of yours - no matter what you think of yourself.”

Kaoru forces his breathing to stay even, curls his legs a little closer towards himself. Sakuma-san is somehow too close despite the distance between them, the wood of the coffin still cold against his back even through his uniform, and he wishes it wasn’t so dark.

“Even though I….” Kaoru trails off, thoughts half-formed weighing down his tongue.

It’s so dark.

This whole time, he doesn’t think Sakuma-san has looked at him.

“Why won’t you look at me?” He blurts out immediately, a surge of regret snapping his mouth shut again as quickly as he had opened it. He hates how it sounded, feels _ pathetic _for giving it voice - and now Sakuma-san is staring at him, even if Kaoru can’t meet it fully. Sakuma-san’s eyes gleam an eerie red even in the darkness, an unnatural sheen, and Kaoru summons the courage to meet them with his own.

“Do you think of me as a human, Kaoru-kun?”

Kaoru blinks.

“Uh, yeah, of course? We’re all humans.”

Sakuma-san pauses, waits, eyes boring into Kaoru as if looking for something. Whether he finds it or not, Kaoru can’t tell - the gaze suddenly drops, a warm laughter filling the room again, unexpectedly resonant in a way that makes him sure Sakuma-san is smiling.

“Ahh, Kaoru-kun - ever ephemeral, ever out of reach, like a summer’s breeze. I never understand you.”

Kaoru laughs a little, echoing the smile, because that’s really just absurd coming from Sakuma Rei.

There’s a sudden touch against his leg, a cold hand dragging itself up Kaoru’s thigh as Sakuma-san leans in. 

“Wh - what are you -”

Another hand comes up to cup his face and tangle long fingers in his hair, the touch featherlight and gentle.

Kaoru feels paralysed. 

Sakuma-san draws closer, slowly but in a way that has Kaoru spellbound, stopping but moments from his face as the silence continues.

“That you would live with me as a human,” Sakuma-san shifts to whisper in Kaoru’s ear, and Kaoru still feels like he can’t move, can’t shatter whatever this is, “is the greatest gift I could ask for. But I hope you’ll permit me one indulgence,” and he draws back, meeting Kaoru’s eyes again, and Kaoru wonders if the faint red glow illuminates his own face, “because I really would like to kiss you right now.” 

Sakuma-san swallows audibly in the silence that follows, taking a breath that seems to waver just a little, “If that’s all right.”

And Kaoru - stunned, breathless, unable to move, unable to _ think _ \- just whispers, “_Okay. _”

It’s a shock even if he’s expecting it - the soft touch of cool lips on his own, the way the hand on his thigh trembles with nerves he didn’t know Sakuma-san had, the other thumb sweeping gently across his cheekbone. Sakuma-san kisses like he’s afraid Kaoru will break under his touch, breath shaky in the brief moments they break apart even as he leans back in for more.

And Kaoru should be freaking out about suddenly kissing the guy leading his idol unit, but there’s something about the room, the cloak of darkness that slips around their shoulders, that makes it feel safe, almost like a dream.

“Sakuma-san…” He finally says when they lean back, voice almost inaudible even to his own ears.

“You won’t call me Rei-kun?” Sakuma-san - Rei-kun - Sakuma-san shuffles closer, a lazy smile audible in his voice, and Kaoru lets him.

“I’ll earn it.” Kaoru threads steel into his voice, and Sakuma-san raises his head again to look at him, “And I’ll call you Rei-kun when I can be your equal.”

“Oho~ I look forward to it.” Sakuma-san says warmly, “And then when that day comes we can rule the night together, until those children can join us as UNDEAD.”

Kaoru smiles - maybe Sakuma-san can see it, even in the darkness - and doesn’t protest at the way a leg comes to rest against his own.

“They’re good kids,” he says with a hint of the pride he usually kept hidden, “so we’d better do our best for them.”

He’s answered with a hum and Sakuma-san abruptly draping himself across Kaoru’s thighs, a dramatic sprawl even as arms wind around his torso. Kaoru tries to fight back the sudden heat that rises to his cheeks as Sakuma-san makes a sound almost like a _ whine_.

“S-Sakuma-san?!”

“Kaoru-kuuun~” and clearly the exhaustion truly had caught up to him, because it’s accompanied with a jaw-cracking yawn, “I’m _ tired._”

“Y-you can sleep in your coffin better than on me, can’t you?”

Kaoru can just make out the way red eyes blink petulantly up at him - accompanied, he is sure, by a childish pout.

“But you’re so warm - won’t you indulge the elderly just once? I need more sleep than you young people, you know.”

“Isn’t that what you said before you kissed me?” Kaoru mutters, but he doesn’t move to push Sakuma-san away. He can feel the shift of fingers through the fabric of his uniform, and when Sakuma-san speaks again it’s in the same odd tone as before.

“You’re not out of my reach anymore,” Sakuma-san adjusts his weight across Kaoru’s thighs, and he’s not really as warm as a person should be and his eyes shimmer in the darkness and the phantom touch of his hand lingers on Kaoru’s cheek and he had _ just kissed him_, “are you?”

Kaoru had been stuck in Sakuma Rei’s orbit since they’d crossed paths in an underground live house - and yet, he thinks he understands.

“No,” and he thinks it’s okay to lower his hand to run through the dark hair that spills across his thigh, from the way that Sakuma-san turns his head into the touch, “I’m not.”

For him to be so tired even at night, he must have pushed himself far too hard that afternoon.

“But I won’t stay here all night, you know?” Kaoru insists, though he makes no attempt to move.

“Just for a moment?” Sakuma-san entreats, and Kaoru laughs a little at the way his tone resembles a spoiled child.

“Just for a moment.”

That’s okay, he thinks - for a moment that ripples far into their future, beyond his sight.

They’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> my first attempt at writing for enstars, which is a little daunting considering the quality of the source material. still, i hope i can get to know them better and better ^_^
> 
> i am on twitter at @strifesclouds, where i love and support sakuma rei with all my heart


End file.
